I'm a dreamer

I used to dream of a perfect life.

That's why I'm here.

Is this all I have been dreaming about?

Am I having the best time of my life right now?

Next year am I going home and saying "my year was okay"? No I'm not. 

I'm just sitting here alone, every minute here is one minute closer to that day when I go back home. 

What will happen then?

Is my life ever going to be the same again?

That pic is from my last night in Finland. I remember walking alone and thinking "am I doing the right thing?"

Do I belong in here? I don't know. Do I belong in Finland? I don't know.

Is somewhere a place that I belong to?

Can I ever find that place? 

I want to see so many sunsets and sunrises and city lights and happy people.

People say that I'm so brave. Am I? 

Where would I be now if I had said "no" to the Duke Ellington School of the Arts?

I would be in a normal american high school somewhere else in this country.

Would I be happier there? No. 

But that could be the place I belong to. Could it? No. 

When can I get right answers to these questions? Never. I'm just guessing. 

Someone is listening to "Don't stop believing" outside. I should be sleeping right now. I will never stop believing.